Good afternoon Kisha. I am a Blog visitor and I need the advise of you and other silent BVS urgently.
I met my husband in 2014 and by 2015 we got married and have been ttc ever since. Our marriage clocked 2years in April. I met my husband while he lived in a self contain in Abuja. God has been faithful to us materially in our marriage.
Now to the problem. In 2016 God blessed my husband with a contract and it gave us more boom financially before then on several occasions he would skip coming home from work. I mean he would go out to work and not return home till the next day. It continued to increase from 1 day to 2, 3, 1 week and the one which broke the camels back 3weeks. During the 3 weeks stay I left home cos I was all alone and my family were getting worried. All calls to him from my father and siblings were not picked. For the first time he blocked me out of his phone.
I traveled to Abuja only to return home and met female stuffs in my living room. I first called my him my number was still blocked so I called my in-laws to ascertain if any female member came they said no, so I sent my husband a text informing him I was back and of the female stuffs . An hour later his car drove in he came in the company of two ladies one was wearing my husbands cloth.
I quickly bolted our iron door peeped out of the window and greeted him and asked who they were cos they didn’t look familiar. He asked me if I was blind to c a lady wearing his Cloth and asking him stupid question. Note in all we did not quarrel before he disappeared. He just got paid for a huge amount and that was it the next day he was gone. In April 2nd he did same . Our 2nd year anniversary Was The 4th he didn’t return I wept I still sent him an anniversary text thinking it would touch him no way he spent a week plus before he returned.
I went looking for him from one hotel to the other and brought him home under duress he was with a lady but the receptionist at the hotel had pity on me let me go to the room saying they didn’t know he had a beautiful wife at home and that he had been there for almost a week with this dirty girl she said.
After asking me if I was blind, he said he wants me to pack my things and Leave the house, he was tired of the marriage before I could say Jack he picked up his phone and began to call my dad and my siblings to come take me out of his house.
I was speechless I began to scream, thank God I was inside the house and bolted the door. If not he meant to throw me out. Neighbors came out shouted at him and told him they were disappointed in him and he should take the ladies back to where he brought them from.
They slept in my house, used my wrapper, cooked mean while I left stew and soup I made in the fridge. I called my in-laws to tell them what just happened I was weeping. U will not believe my mother in-laws response. That she heard from her son while I was in my fathers house she said, he told them I went to a mans house to enjoy that I should continue to enjoy myself and deal with the issue. U know when my husband did not come home the first day
I called my sister in-law and told her she told me she was to call him, she didn’t call me back for days. Before I went home my mum and dad called my mother in-law to inform her about their sons behavior they got into an altercation cos my parents were angry hence their request I come home which was the reason I traveled down to Abuja. It was after her response it dawned on me that I was being ganged up against.
Despite everything I wanted to stay until I began to receive calls left right and centre that I should move out from family members he called. I stood up and began to pack my stuffs. I changed my mind and began to pack all the stuffs in the house rugs, chairs, TV u name it cos when I met him we didn’t have none of it and for another woman to come live on them no way. Not to forget I work for him cos we have a business. I called a pickup and moved out the next morning with the help of neighbors.
3 weeks later I called a neighbor who told me my husband had been staying at home since I left and had emaciated badly. That she spoke to him and he confided in her that the lady was pregnant for him. Now 1 week later he called begging and was asking people to beg on his behalf he said he was sick and needed to see me.
I still love my husband and so o went. C shocker after begging and crying he mention the pregnancy I thought it was the same lady no way he dropped a bomb it’s not the lady he brought to my home it’s another different lady that is pregnant for him. Guess what people my husband had being sleeping with prostitutes. The both ladies were prostitutes.
I asked him did she do a test cos I was in denial. I said call her tell her to come in short let’s go pick her up. We drove to a hotel and picked her up, she did a test she is pregnant, four months. I was shocked, I wept bitterly.
Now this is my problem I have forgiven and i can return home cos he has being begging. Even pastors have being calling. I forgive all he has ever done to me, from cheating, to disappearing each time he makes money, to late night, to girl friend calling him in my presence which is one of the ladies pregnant now cos I know I had seen her name and confronted him about, to many lies he told his family about me. That I don’t cook, I am wasteful, I fight him, I am lazy, all to drive me away from his house, I am a prostitute I forgive cos he said he is ready to tell the truth but u c, I can not accept a baby from another woman, it was not in my plan, if I did not give him a child in future and he puts me away, I will gladly go if no solution. But this one I can’t swallow. He is begging saying the child might not be his. His family wants the child cos he first told them.
In February this year my husbands business went down, our rent was due in April. His business was down so I went to my mum and collected 400k to help him kick start his business. Not to forget I had a myomectomy cos I have Fibroid last year and I told my husband about my situation the first week we met.
Now my problem is this:
1. A child will have long term consequences hence I have refused to return. Cos I told him u can have the child and her mother but I will not return home cos I don’t want a child in my marriage from another woman under this circumstance. Mind you she is almost from their place and I am Igbo
2. Can I really trust him again? I don’t think I ever can
3. I’d rather leave my marriage than live with the long term consequences of his bond to this woman with the baby. Note he brought home Gonorrhea in March this year. Y sleep with prostitutes without protection.
4. He is in a lot of debt situation, he has squandered almost all we have, our rent is not paid and yet I have our properties as collateral for the money he owes my family put at 500k.
5. I am scared the property could be the reason for the begging though he said he does not mind forfeiting is he just wants his wife back he loves me and all.
6. Y did he tell his family about the baby first. I think he was happy and wanted to keep it. Y must I be the one to accept to live in discomfort.
7. I think he lives off my good vibe as a supportive wife, both intellectually and emotionally cos he has grown a lot thanks to God and the Two of us.
8 he wanted to throw me out Y.? I didn’t offend him he just left home, y block me out of his phone. Y tell your family I went to a mans house when he knew I went home to my family?what was his aim. He even said he wanted to change the locks before I came home. Y did he want to do that to me if he loved me at all.
Please post as he wants to come this weekend with people to beg my family but something in me does not want to return with the child in the equation. do you think I am wrong.
Thanks
Mine*Hmmmm this situation is so messed up…Begging you and turning a new leaf are two different things….Has he changed?Has he checked himself that he is free from STD’s and all STI’s.
Gosh I feel like telling you to walk out of this situation,it is too messed up and it will never be the same between you both again and that Innocent baby coming in will not make it any easy. If you ask me;I would say forgive him but move on!
Incase you have relationship or personal issues that you would want us to talk about, email us On: amiboisland@gmail.com