Dearest Kisha and fellow Amibo islanders
Thank you for your blog and everything it stands for, Anyway I am in distress n in need of advice and help. I am having a bit of issues in my relationship. My issue is a bit disjointed cause at the moment I am so down and depressed I am currently on anti-anxiety pills.
I am 26 years old married with a baby (18 months and we’ve been married for two years), my husband is a medical doctor and he works in a different state from me, firstly my hubby will not allow me visit (I haven’t visited in 1 year and 8 months, he comes home once every 2 weeks), he always uses the excuse that he stays in a one bedroom there and it can’t fit I and the baby (which is kind of true) but I believe that as a family, if there is love we can manage for just three days to one week, but he never bulges.
Secondly, our communication is zero, he only calls to check on me and the baby vaguely (in fact when he calls I can already predict the conversation, it’s very rote and boring).
The one that even killed me is when he said to my face last Sunday when we had a little argument ‘you know I don’t talk to you so you don’t have to worry’ Stella I cried so much cause I felt so little or best put like a nuisance.
On the Saturday before the Sunday I wanted to have a Heart to heart with him, he refused saying he is studying, I insisted on talking even though he pretended to not be listening, but I continued telling him how I feel, all he said was if I wanted to divorce him I should say it, I was really shocked (though in the past I’ve mentioned such cause I am just so tired).
Thirdly, He also doesn’t trust me, he accuses me of cheating every time. If I tell him I’m at my girl friends place sef it’s war, he just wants me to be at home even though he won’t call or even keep me company. It’s crazy!!!
Fourthly, he is the sole provider in our home, though I am a graduate with 3 different degrees from Universities abroad, i only recently got a job to start in the new year. I live very decently cause he gives us a good life, but those things can’t comfort me I need my man to love and appreciate me.
My home is far from sweet at the moment, he is 38 and I’m 26. We dated for two years though I and everyone in his family know he’s reserved and doesn’t talk too much I never knew it will deteriorate like this. He is a calm man and but when he is on the phone with his doctor friends he will be so excited and all chatty. So he has it in him he doesn’t just want to give me that side of him.
I am so tempted to cheat but I can’t because I am a child of God and one of those people that fear Gods wrath so much. Guys are always asking me out, because I am very pretty with a lovely shape and very humble and friendly personality so anywhere I step men are always on my case.
Just to clarify I am one of those that have people flocking them, many of my friends won’t even do stuff without consulting me for advise so I’m not dumb or boring. I really don’t know.
Finally, my hubby will never compliment me, it’s almost like I don’t exist even if I fish for it, he looks at me and says ‘you are ok, or the outfit Is ok’ (Ive gotten informal awards on being the fashionista of the year and all, so I really take care of myself, in fact on the side I do make up and dress people for events, so I’m not razz or anything)
How can a young vibrant lady live like this for the rest of her life? I am so tired, dear bvs please help me on what to do.
I really don’t know why my hubby hates me so much maybe there’s something I can’t see, I am annoying too but just minimally like every woman and if we fight and he just begs me once or twice and I’ve moved on. I don’t know what else to do, is there anyone In This situation or overcame such? please help me, I’ve contemplated suicide so many times because of this emotional torture.
There is nothing as painful as being loved and appreciated by the world but not by the one person that matters the most.
Thanks my cyber-family for your anticipated help on this issue.
Is sad issue but my advice to you is that please as you mentioned earlier that you are a Christian. .please be prayerful and consult God about the situation for him to change your husband character towards you and make his heart comes to you with the love and feeling he used to have for you before, don’t cheat on him just because you also feel he’s cheating on you. If he’s cheating on you truly I believe that the almighty God we serve will reveal it out one day and that will the sign for you to divorce him ,please also as you said guys are always asking you out because you’re beautiful looking, sexy and all that. ..please my advice is don’t accept any of them because the moment they have what they want from you (sex) then that Will be the end ,which will not make the situation with husband change because two wrongs doesn’t make it right, think about the child life also, may God see you through thank you.