We’ve got some good news, and some bad news. The good news is that lovely Jesus is coming back – and he’s going to be here by the end of the year. But the bad news is that he’s not here to hand out any loaves and fishes.
In fact, he’s going to kill us all – and leave the world a sterile ball of dust for 1,000byears.
Or, at least that’s what Christian conspiracy fans think – after Nora Roth, owner of the website Markbeast.com, predicted the end was just weeks away.
Several fundamentalist Christian sects believe the end is just around the corner – based on a prophecy in Daniel in the Bible – but Roth, a Christian computer programmer thinks it’s just weeks away.
If she’s right, we won’t be toasting the bells on New Year’s Eve – we’ll be toast.
Just to help you visualise this, here’s Jesus Christ wielding two massive machine guns.
Roth writes, ‘The 70 “sevens” prophecy in Daniel 9:24 has two fulfillments. The 70 “sevens” are 70 Jubilee cycles – 3,431 years, pointing to the second coming of Jesus when His people will be permanently freed from sin. In the fall of 2016 the 6,000 years of sin on earth will come to an end, everlasting righteousness will be brought in, and Jesus will come again.
Biblical fundamentalists believe that the world was created only a few thousand years ago – and that means that our time is nearly up.
The Reverend Donna Larson claims that the number 6,000 is bad news – as the Bible predicts that man will rule the Earth for 6,000 years.
We should point out that even the Bible is pretty scathing about predictions of when the world will end, with a verse in Matthew saying, ‘But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.’